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What To Do When You Start Comparing Yourself To Others

Updated: Mar 28, 2023

Comparison is the thief of joy.

I would consider myself a positive, albeit sassy, person. I mean I have a lot of practice in figuratively getting punched in the face, brush it off, everything is fine, carry on, and here it comes again, repeat. Never give up. But when I give myself the opportunity, I can absolutely tear myself down and make anything I was ever proud of seem as if it is nothing. Because I start comparing. Know what I mean?

My business…I see others on vacations or talkin’ about being a #bosslady. Meanwhile I’m working long days and every weekend trying to make sure I can keep it all together. That absolutely makes me feel like a loser sometimes. But I forget that I’ve actually managed to stay in business for 10+ years. 😁

My body…I should have bigger muscles. 💪 Much, much bigger. I should be stronger, like her or her or him! You thought I was going to say I should be skinnier or have 6-pack abs right? Nope! Anyway…

It’s so easy to compare to others and lose sight of what WE have actually accomplished. I may only have a slither of success and muscles I gotta flex for you to see — but I worked so hard for those. So hard. And at one point I was actually proud of all of it – until I decided to look around and see what others had. I was actually celebrating it. Until I noticed someone seemed to be better. Sound familiar?

So someone that once celebrated the 30 pounds they lost, their first push-up, a business, etc…is now disappointed and not good enough. Well that just sucks. So what do we do about that? Here are five things I think will help.

1 – You’re only seeing part of the story. Understand that you are never getting the full story, ever. If someone seems to be successful in any avenue of life they probably sacrificed a ton to get there, took a lot of chances, and failed a bunch. These are things they may not necessarily talk about all the time.

2 – It’s your journey. It’s cliche, but it’s true. We are all on different paths. You gotta ask yourself – Are you on their journey or are you on yours? Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle.

3 – Ask them how they did it. This is the best thing you can do to turn your “comparing” into a win for you. If you see someone that has done something that you think is amazing why don’t you just ask them how they did it? How did you get so successful? How did you get such amazing pull-ups? How did you get your kids to behave in the grocery store? How did you remember every line to that Metallica song? Chances are they would love to tell you all about it, struggles and everything.

4 – Judge yourself by your principles and values. Are you working as hard as you can? Could you do a little better? Be honest with yourself and then act accordingly.

5 – Success is relative. My idea of success may be different than yours. One person may see success as time freedom, another as money, and another as loving what they do every single day.

I’m still working on these, by the way. But I think it’s a pretty big deal when you can stop comparing, be proud of all you have accomplished, and also realize that you still have work to do — all at the same time. ❤️

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